So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
