I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There's always time for handjobs
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i think my cat just said my name.
These tits shall not be calmed
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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