i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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