Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
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