i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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