Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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