it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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