I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
no you cant smoke seaweed
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
