they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize