Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
