Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
pop tarts are not kleenex
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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