i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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