New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
