is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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