i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
