Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
