just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
