My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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