First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
