You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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