Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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