he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize