yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
