I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
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