I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
