Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
