Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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