is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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