If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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