You can't motorboat a personality
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you had me at cake vodka
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize