Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
