Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
