Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My Sexting was not on an AP level
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
