Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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