Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
