I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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