if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just invented taco cereal.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
