OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
