Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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