When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
