I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We were destined to go to rehab together
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
