lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
