Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
