He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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