Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Mom said you looked used
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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