I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
