We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize