I can tuck mytits in my pants
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
