you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
