Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
All I want is dick and wine.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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