Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
