i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
