Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I cut my penus on the lid.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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