Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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