can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I didn't notice because vodka
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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