some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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