bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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