He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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