Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
