i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think my moral compass just broke
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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