This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
