yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
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