You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
