Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
