i dont even know how to be here
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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