Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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