I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
