Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
