ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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