I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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