Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
