Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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